Perhaps, like me, you often find yourself unable to concentrate on the TV because you are so distracted by the presenter’s clothes. The other day I couldn’t take in a word of a programme about the Domesday book, thanks to the historian’s badly pre-distressed jeans. And I don’t believe a news broadcast has ever been listened to properly: viewers are too busy wondering why female newsreaders like to dress as if they’re on Star Trek.
I suggest we put a stop to all this with The TV Uniform, which must be worn by all presenters of non-fiction programmes. It could be as above, a loose, practical unisex jumpsuit of some description. Failing that, a pair of jumbo cords and a really boxy shirt would probably do the trick. Finally, an end to the chorus of ‘What on earth is that JACKET?’ that rings out across the land every time there’s a weather forecast.